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Soccer Jokes For Kids

Soccer Jokes For Kids 2019

Soccer Jokes For Kids: 30 of The Best in 201930 Hilarious Kids Soccer Jokes

Humour is what keeps this world going I personally think

So if you are a young soccer fan that is looking for some hilarious Soccer Jokes For Kids to enjoy then you certainly have come to the right place

Before you start crying laughing at these funny jokes

Or cringing at how bad they are

Just take a quick look at this short video of the funniest soccer moments in 2019

Funny Soccer Moments 2019

30 Best Soccer Jokes For Kids

1. Tea’s Up

Q: What type of tea do soccer players drink?

A: Penal-Tea

2. Cinderella

Q: Why doesn’t Cinderella want to play soccer?

A: Because she always has to run away from the ball

3. Light it Up

Q: What makes a soccer stadium light up?

A: A soccer match

4. Hoppers

Q: Why don’t grasshoppers like soccer?

A: They much prefer cricket

5. Doggy

Q: Why couldn’t the dog play soccer?

A: He was a boxer dog

6. A Soccer RiddleRugby Jokes For Kids

2 teams are playing a game of soccer against each other, 1 playing in red and the other in blue

The blue team wins, but not a single man from either team scored a goal

How is this possible?

Answer: They were both women’s soccer teams!

7. Wet Player’s

Q: It’s a dry day but why was the soccer field wet?

A: All the soccer players dribbled over it

8. Screamer

Q: What do you call someone who paces up and down while screaming their heads offone minute then crying their eyes out the next?

A: A soccer coach

9. Magic

Q: Why did the soccer coach make the magician the captain of the soccer team?

A: He was awesome at hat tricks

>>> Want to Know How to Trap a Soccer Ball on Your Chest? <<<

10. Easy

Q: If you were locked inside a car with nothing but a soccer ball, How would you get out?
A: Just unlock the door and pull the handle… Easy!

11. Blind

Q: What happens if a soccer player goes blind?

A: They have to be referees

12. This Joke May Cause OffenceI hate maths teacher's

I think it’s quite funny that Americans call it “Soccer” and the English call it “Football”

Just like how I find it funny that the English call it a “shooting range” and the Americans call it a “school”

Was That Below The Belt?

13. Keep Cool

Q: How do soccer players stay cool while they are playing a game?

A: They stand near their fans!

14. No Fans

Q: Why does it get warmer after a soccer game finishes?

A: All the fans have left the stadium

15. Happy Ref

Q: How do you know that soccer referees are always happy?

A: Because they whistle while they work

16. Swimmers

Q: How do swimmers make good soccer players?

A: Because they love to dive

17. Cinderella Again

Q: Why is Cinderella terrible at soccer?

A: Because a pumpkin was her coach

19. Throwing StonesGoodbye Ref Stones

A soccer fan turns up in front of a judge

He is charged with assault and disorderly conduct after a match

The arresting officer says that the fan had thrown something into the river right by the stadium

“What did the accused throw into the river?” the judge asks

“Stones, your honour” the officer replies

The judge is baffled! “Well, that’s not really an offense is it officer”

“It was in this case your honour” the officer explains

“The referees name was David Stones”

19. Ballers

Q: How are Basketball players different to Soccer players?

A: Basketball players get real injuries

20. Stadium

Q: What runs all around a soccer field but doesn’t move at all?

A: A stadium!

21. Snow White

Q: Why does snow whites 7 dwarves laugh when ever they play soccer?

A: Because the grass tickles their balls

22. Sarcastic

Q: I was playing soccer last week and the referee said the penalty could only be taken if the ball was stationery

A: So I swapped it for a pencil.

23. Too LateNow I'll Miss my Bus You Idiot

I just got banned from playing soccer for 10 years for a bad tackle

To be fair to the ref, it was a bit late

He was getting onto the bus at the time

24. Free Ticket

During a soccer match little bobby sits in the front row

His friend asks…

“How did you get those tickets?”

“My brother” respond Petya.

“So where is your brother then?”

“Still at home looking for his ticket”

25. Jumping Goals

Q: What goalkeeper can jump higher than the goalposts?

A: Every goalkeeper, goalposts can’t jump at all!

>>> See Some Soccer Goalposts Here <<<

26. Cry Baby

Q: What’s the difference between a Manchester United supporter and a baby?

A: The baby will stop crying after a while

27. Bra

Q: Why is a bad soccer team just like an old bra?

A: It has very little support and no cups

28. What is Soccer?

Q: What is soccer I hear you ask?

A: Well, it has been described as a game with 22 players on the field, two linesmen and 20,000 referees in the stadium

29. Smells Nice

Q: What part of a soccer pitch smells the nicest?

A: The “scenter” spot

30. Eat a FriendWell I Don't Want to Eat David's Arse

Four friends were stranded on a desert island

But 1 of them sadly died

The other 3 decided that the only way to survive was to eat the dead body as they had no food

The 1st man said, “Well, I support Liverpool, so I suppose i’ll eat his liver”

The 2nd man said, “And I support Manchester, so I guess I’ll eat his chest”

The 3rd man said, “Ummm… I support Arsenal… but I’m not that hungry at all”

Before You Go…

Did you have a good laugh at these jokes?

Or do you think you can do better?

Just leave your funny soccer jokes in the comment section below to make others laugh

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Have any Questions or Comments?

6 comments on “Soccer Jokes For Kids


I love the Cinderella joke… She ran away from the ball that is why she can’t play soccer.

I cringe on 12… I guess only a “soccer fan” will say that one.

#28 is so true… For some reason, every soccer fan is an expert


I thought number 12 would be a bit controversial :/


Hi Shawni.

Some of these were quite funny and many I had not seen before. I loved the video – lots of laughing! I think humour in sports should be mandatory – players are just too serious nowadays.

Thanks again for some ‘light’ moments.


Thanks, glad you enjoyed 🙂


Hey Shwni,

What a hilarious website. Thanks for sharing and making me laugh this morning. I think you found a niche that can make everyone smile and laugh when they see it, so well done! Thanks for sharing your post.



Thanks very much 🙂
If you enjoyed these jokes you might like these rugby jokes as well 🙂


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